Horrorscopes: Surviving the Deluge

Published  May 2013

Yes it is pouring! Pouring down rain, right on your head. Now the question is: is that a good or a bad thing? Bob Marley said “Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.” And even though a spontaneous typhoon can wash your car away in the middle of the night, it can also wash away a lot of your dirt. It can clean you of your past and the most important part is that it can nurture whatever you’re planting. So make sure when life is raining on you (in whatever way) that you take it as a blessing and not a soggy pain in the ass. Rain really does make the flowers grow. Take a hint from a prepared Chalmatian I know: always keep a pair of boots in the back of the truck. You never know when you may need them.


Taurus
You would think, this being your month, it would mean relaxing good times. But that won’t be the case. Whatever easybreezy attitudes you feel as May rolls in will soon be replaced with restlessness to satisfy your own desires. Go ahead and allow yourself to make the changes you want to make anyway, and stop being so bull-headed and stubborn. There is money in your future, but also a time of questioning your self-worth. There are also a few signs that show you may not be spiritually okay with this money. Please stay off of Bourbon Street, dear Taurus.

Gemini
This month you are truly double and wearing two masks. One minute you are fully present and the next you are gone. One minute you are a hermit needing privacy and time to be alone, while the next you are lonely–desiring attention, love and the spotlight. It may not be your intention, but try not to come off as a prick tease (or any kind of tease for that matter). Slow it down and be sure to proceed with caution where you usually just bound in. And just decide already, are you in or are you out?

Cancer
A time of change is about you as your life switches gears. For some Cancers that may be faster while for others life will slow down. Whichever it is will lead you back to your path of spirituality. No matter what you believe in, now is the time you are ready to delve a little deeper into that knowledge and deeper into yourself. Work and home life shake up as things are changing. This change isn’t just now but a gradual, continuing change that has been going on since last summer and will continue a metamorphosis until 2015.

Leo
Career shake-ups make you realize you could be your own boss, or at least have you questioning if you could do things better and be happier somewhere else. The Sagittarius moon will have you longing for self-expression and pleasure, but it will be eclipsed by Neptune, which may have you dreaming up realities that are impossible. Others will try to socialize and chat you up, but focusing on your long-term goals is ultimately what you are concerned with. Try not to be too much of a stick in the mud while focusing on what is important.

Virgo
We all know, Virgo, that you have been a work in progress for a while. But it is most important to know the rule of two steps back this month. You may feel like you are going nowhere and that anything backwards is not good. But that’s where you are wrong–sometimes it’s the kinks and back-ups that actually put us back on track. Stop thinking about the future so much and actually think about the now. What changes or actions can you make today that will make you happy? Just one good change, today. And keep up with it!

Libra
You will be pulled in opposite directions this month: one force wanting to stay in a stable environment and the other force wanting to discover new people and places. Do not hang on to things due to your resistance to change or your misplaced sense of obligation. Really focus on expanding your horizons instead of making everyone else happy. Sticking with anything that has lost its magic will just wear you down; either bring it to life or move on.

Scorpio
You are so used to being in control that you usually find pleasure holding your position even when you may want to do or believe the opposite. Consider that this holding on is just an illusion of control and you may be pleasantly surprised if you just let go, especially of things that no longer serve you. Realign yourself with your core values. If you are scared of rocking the boat, then you will be stuck on a long, boring boat ride to China. Maintaining the status quo isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be.

Sagittarius
You are questioning your happiness in several areas of your life right now and it’s making you question almost every decision you make. You desire consistency and security but may find a higher happiness by altering patterns instead of holding on to the same old routine. Your great strength of adaptability will be an asset to you now. People are drawn to you, but don’t forget that you get to choose. Be discriminating with the company you keep, because ultimately you are what you surround yourself with.

Capricorn
Just because it makes sense doesn’t mean it’s gonna work–or that it’s what should work, for that matter. Be creative to solve your problems and remember to be the change that you seek. At the end of the day, we are all responsible for our own happiness. Sometimes it’s okay to not be okay. Give yourself permission to not be an adult and seek some childlike pleasures. This small change could change your life.

Aquarius
Issues that you thought were long settled may really not be. Life is that way. It is perfectly alright to reassess your life goals and make a few adjustments here and there. Or what the hell–start from scratch. It is crucial if you do it over, do it right. You need to figure out if what you are into is a passing fancy or something that is part of you. If it’s not important to you, drop it quickly as it may waste too much of your time. Commit yourself to one path or direction or you may find yourself spinning your wheels.

Pisces
Sometimes life doesn’t always go according to the script you wrote. You need to let go of predetermined expectations and stop getting in the way of your own happiness. Let life take its course. You may be surprised to find out the world can write as good a story as you can. So let it be and see what happens. Opportunities are often overlooked when you are so hell-bent on your outcome happening. Narrow your expectations and have a little empathy.

Aries
When you question your ability to provide, you question your self-worth. If things aren’t working out for you in a financial sense, then it’s time to reevaluate your situation. And know that, ultimately, you have the control. Even though this can bring on a time of stress, the last thing you want to do is zone out and start daydreaming about how things should be. Instead, it is super important that you focus that energy on making what needs to happen actually happen. Just because something grabs your interest, remember that can fade. Don’t go burning buildings just because something is interesting.

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