Horrorscopes: Time to Cool Off

Published  July 2013

We are moving into the House of Cancer this month and what better way to honor Cancer’s and your own inner crab than to take to the water? If you didn’t heed last month’s advice about staying one step ahead of the heat, then you may be feeling a bit grumpy right now. Take this month’s astrological offerings and focus on water. Drink it, play in it, submerge in it and honor the 60% of your body that is water. It is truly one of the only things we need.


Cancer
Do you feel like the summer has relaxed you and all the problems you were dealing with have slowly rolled away? Well, after June 25th, Jupiter moved into your house and cleaned out a lot of problems you have been dealing with in the first half of the year. You should feel much more confident, happy and balanced; and your physical and mental health should even be doing better. With this, the moon is your ruling planet and boy oh boy is her pull close to you now. Hello Super Moon! Find yourself a vacation and for Cancers, the further away the better. Make sure there is water close by though, little crab.

Leo
Leos, ruled by the sun, are going to have a little bit of a rocky start to July. It is best to stay prudent, lay low and let the situation pass you by. Give this month a little time to work itself out and you will be pleasantly surprised. It will be your month! You will use all of your lion charms and they will work. Collaborations will lead to future successes in your projects—just beware of set-ups. Lastly, Leos, maybe you should stick close to home and cool off with a nice pool and a daiquiri. Don’t travel right now, even if you have the money.

Virgo
Beware Virgos. Mercury goes into retrograde this month and it always funks things up a little more for your sign than others. So if your letter comes back, your call goes unanswered, things take longer… just hold your breath. The end of the month actually looks a little easier for you. Now, just because things will be difficult does not mean they won’t be fun. You will have a very social month and you may even get involved in a great group or collaboration. Life will be pulling you out, but for some reason you are preoccupied with things you shouldn’t worry about just yet. Let it go and go with the flow.

Libra
It is an important time to socialize, for love is all around you, Libra. It is a great time for you to meet other people who will mean something to you in the future. Now is a time of connecting to others with similar spiritual and intellectual interests. You will have happy, fun times that will be very significant, but it won’t come without some stress. Be sure to pace yourself and don’t take on too much; it may lead to exhaustion. Stay open to the possibilities of a bigger love.

Scorpio
Believe it or not, it is a great time of passion for you. You are more sentimental now than ever, and the best part is that it is not going to end. The ride may be bumpy along the way, but the next year will be filled with love and sentimentality for you. Your life will turn a little to education as well. Getting involved in a paper or university or some level of education will bring about a fresh breeze in your summer. The best advice for Scorpios is to stay organized and on top of things. Drink more water and less booze.

Sagittarius
Sagittarius will be heavy in the head. You tend to think about things as a seeker of knowledge, but this month you get no answers… sorry. In fact, a period of sentimental complication may arise. It is important to look at things from a different angle in order to see the truth in it. Do not waste your efforts when you don’t truly feel on the same plane as someone else. This action will save you time and heartache in the areas of not only love, but work, family, friends and the most important thing––being true to yourself.

Capricorn
Capricorns may be in for a few hot nights and we are not suggesting the AC is out. So have fun, but make sure your fun does not overlap or you may be in even hotter water than you wanted to be in. And trust us––right now, you are looking for hot water. Our best advice to the Caps is to simply avoid all situations that can lead to conflict. Also, if you feel a little under the weather, it is Mercury in retrograde affecting Capricorn health in an odd way.

Aquarius
Hello Water-bearers. You are ones who usually understand the cooling effects of the water and often are the ones who sooth and pacify others around you. And in hot times like these, we thank you. You are a great diffuser of some out-of-control situations. You will also shine like a star in your career, and man, will you be busy. Just plan on taking a break or vacation next month. Address your health or you will be sorry. Even the healthy ones… go get that test you are putting off.

Pisces
Listen to your heart, not your head. Pisces will feel young, brand new and a bit sexy. GRRRR! Your pheromones are buzzing in this summertime haze. However, you must be discreet and remember not to do anything too stupid because pretty much like your whole life, you will pay for the mistakes your indiscretions cause. You could have a success in the area of real estate or ownership as long as you don’t bank on high values. Also, take a piece of advice you always dole out and don’t put all of your eggs in one basket.

Aries
Don’t rush into anything, and get personal counsel from those you love. You may find profit in something as long as you don’t overlook the risks. If it is too risky, pass it by, as it will tank you. You will find some sensuality overcoming you in these hot, steamy months. You could have some real sexy scenarios arise. If it looks like it is going in that direction, it most probably is. Just remember, it could simply be the sweltering summer passions overcoming you and not the love of your life happening.

Taurus
If you would just communicate, you wouldn’t have so many problems and misunderstandings. It is important to say what you mean and mean what you say… but have a bit of  tact. People have feelings. This advice can be applied to your job, your love life, and even your friendships. Sometimes if you warm the knife up, it slides right through the butter. Maybe it is just your bull-headed nature, but we are giving you some very good advice right now. It will also be a good time to reanalyze choices of the past and make the proper adjustments for future happiness. It’s okay to tweak things. That’s life.

Gemini
Mars is still with you twins, so you should still be rolling on the hot, heavy and high times of last month. This leads to a greater time of communications, just as it should. Fuck now and fight later. You may accomplish a goal that you had put on the shelf for a long time. Life just wraps up that way, and now that you have finished it, you may not even care. Finances will turn toward the positive and will stay that way for the whole year. So just sit on your wallet until the end of July.

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