Astrocreep: Status Queaxvember

Published  November 2014
From Ambroise Paré's designs for mechanical prosthetics in Dix livres de la chirurgie (1564)

From Ambroise Paré’s designs for mechanical prosthetics in Dix livres de la chirurgie (1564)

The calendar slides into November and we feel a little depleted and delicate, like a serotonin hangover after a late MDMA night. Except we haven’t just stayed up holding hands, sharing our favorite thoughts, feeling special and close… we just slogged through another October. The fragile feeling will hang around for much of this month as well. It is a plea to be careful who you expose yourself to, a sign that we may be especially vulnerable to even the tiniest germs of the energy of others. Although some folks have teflon auras, overall we tend to be more affected by each other than we know. Tweak your social group to improve your environment, and keep a close eye out for malfunctioning pilot lights, spoiled milk, and other such common hazards.

It may be a bad mystic-career move to admit as much in these pages, but people are just a plumb mystery to me. I study y’all for for a profession, for scholarship, and just for a hobby. I study your behaviors and habits and preferences to understand how they are organized around your particular suffering. And I have only just questioned the foundational assumption of that method: that everyone is suffering horribly (and acting coherently to mitigate that suffering). Apparently, some people are actually mostly doing fine. This disconcerts me. I thought we all had something in common. I thought our lives were all comprised of comparable moments: standing in the shower til the hot water runs cold, staring at the weird dirt that collects in scars (see illustration), causally associating physical ailments with exes, wondering about the difference between desire and impulse, sobbing or impotently failing to.

What are the elemental affinities upon which you have been hedging your compassion? (Obeying the law of opposites: what are the vital similarities between you and everyone else that you’ve written off as your own private weird domain?) Fall is about preparing ourselves for Winter’s inward journey, stocking our den with supplies, sorting out companionship. It is a time well-suited for revisiting the lines you’ve drawn.

Full moon this month. Also a new moon. Just like every month. The new one happens in Sagittarius, just before the sun enters that sign. The full one happens right when I get my period, so keep an eye out for that. It’s in Taurus, so if you are harboring hopes for a lovely home life you might just blurt them out around then. I’ll listen to you if you rub my back and try not to make me sadder than I already am.


In November, your ruler Mars is a randy, relentless fluffer god, keeping you in a heightened state of arousal. I see the possibility of consciousness-altering hot fucking toward the middle of the month. Don’t let that throw you off track in the arena of important life obligations. In particular, if you want more nasty ass in your future, tend to your health and your nerves. Because Mars isn’t the only master of the universe, and Saturn is always waiting to remind you of immovable circumstance. Keep it all sorted, even if your Venus is in Uranus.


Inquiring minds want to know: how’s the weather on Girlfriend Island? If you receded into domestic bliss recently, drop your friends a line. Your primary relationship is going to continue to flourish, but you’re in danger of losing touch with the outside world without even really noticing it, or even noticing how blissful the reality you’re subsuming yourself in is. Open your eyes and take it all in. Be grateful and try to keep your greediness in check.


Geminis are masters of moral relativism in praxis. Like, you shouldn’t smoke inside, but if it’s your house… And, it’s okay to eat your roommate’s food if you hate them. Just remember, some of these rules and norms exist not only to keep societies polite and coherent but to keep individuals from living outside their means. You’ve been stretching the limits of normal life lately, and one of your resources is in danger of running low (health, money, time). Keep an eye on it.


Sometimes when it comes to your closest friends or partners, you forget that your good intentions are not magical factors that undo harm or frustration—specifically, the harm your (sometimes careless or selfish) actions can cause. Instead of trying to explain yourself (or worse, refusing to because you didn’t mean to piss anyone off ) just try listening, swallowing it, and saying “Okay.” It will raise your esteem in important eyes and save something that might be more fragile than you know.


Recent acquiescence to responsibility have you yearning for your wildest days and fearing they may be behind you. But if you’re committed to your wildness you can find it even in a tamer habitat. Get your bearings and rewild yourself (more like in the anarchist sense than the conservation biologist one). Think of the ways you’ve adapted as being muscle grown strong and taut. Imagine the raw new places you can get to with those muscles.


Throughout most of my late teens and 20s, I glanced at cookbooks and ate—raw—the ingredients listed on recipes. About equivalent, I figured. Right? I’m a smart person. I just couldn’t see the big picture or the qualitative factors (for shorthand, “quality of life”). Learn from this tale of uncooked vegetables and swigs of vinegar or else my stomach will have suffered for naught. This is exactly the kind of shit you would do, too. Ask a friend what you’re missing while you’re drowning in the details.


Family or work has been pulling you out of town with some frequency lately, and there’s no one better suited than lazy, tolerant Libra to find that annoying yet relaxing. If you find yourself further from home than you’d like to be this month, run hometown-type errands and be a couch potato. Attempts to push yourself into adventurous mode will only result in you becoming crabby. While you’re burrowing in your unfamiliar nest, reach out to family and close friends. They’ll recharge you, no matter where you are.


You’ve been tender where you’re usually stabby. Because of this you maybe just got stabbed, or possibly also just got a little closer with a sweetie (caught off guard, you didn’t push them away). Weather this unfamiliar territory by holding yourself in higher esteem. Strive for the bulletproof self-esteem, the utterly self-reliant variety, the kind where even when you get turned down for a raise (or straight up fired) or rejected you know for sure whose loss it is.


For a person who is perceived as bright and outgoing, you make a shocking number of decisions internally. Though often drastic and even impulsive, your logic is mysterious and lightning fast. Such is the case when you decide to cut people out of your life. Shedding dead weight is a vital form of self- care and your insatiable need for independence craves it. I can’t change this part of you. But I will suggest: at least check the pulse to make sure it’s really dead. Put a mirror under its nose to watch for breath.


The self-reflective inward move that this season represents reflects your psychic state perfectly. Part of you feels smug when you see people shiver, don’t you? Cause you embody the chill. Where others falter in this seasonal transition, you thrive, and your strength will attract positive attention and companionship. No one is immune to the slight stress seasonal change puts on our bodies, though, so toward the end of the month mind your adventures and partying or else your health will pay.


This month, take care not to neglect your home, even if your attention is being drawn far from it. Someone with whom you are interdependent in the domestic arena cares about the holidays, and you must contribute to the coziness of your nest for this reason if no other. Can you accept this? If you find this demand on your attention grating, and you make that known, I see you placing your foot firmly in your mouth toward the ides of November. Watch your words around the sensitive people in your life or they won’t soon let you forget it.


Though a Piscean is likely to feel terminally misunderstood in their creative or professional endeavors, they’re also the least likely to let that (or moodiness about it) change their path. As a devoted contrarian, I applaud this tendency in you. This month, you’ll receive a little recognition for some serious slogging away you’ve been doing. This recognition will result in… you’re gonna love this… more work. It should come promptly after the full moon, so on the bright side (pun! sorta) you’ll likely have no trouble making rent this month.


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