Guidance Counseling: Caddywhompus

Published  November 2014

antigravity_vol12_issue1_Page_06_Image_0001Sean Hart and Chris Rehm have been making music together since they were kids, but as the experimental, mind-tickling duo Caddywhompus, they have landed a coveted spot as both  critical darlings and fan favorites. Their work is hard to pin down, vacillating somewhere between unapproachable noise and melodic symphony. You can catch them locally at the record release party for their newest work, Feathering a Nest (out on Community Records), on December 6th at One Eyed Jacks. The album is available for pre-order now through Community Records. These fine gents were happy to answer the burning questions of the AG readership this month. Fire away, dudes!



My wife and I decided early in our relationship that we did not want to have children, and we have had 5 happy childless years together. My parents, who originally claimed to support our decision, have now started to express their dismay at our “not giving them grandchildren.” It’s gotten to the point where every interaction with them becomes an argument about children and about their bloodline, and I’m beginning to avoid their calls (I am also an only child). How can we lay this subject to rest once and for all?

Lie til they die. Say you’re “working on it” or “practicing every night.” Get them  to focus on themselves—ask about your SECRET brother that dad never told mom about, but you discovered one day at a WAL-MART in Lake Charles. Or just suck it up and have a kid. It’s really the least you could do.


I’m a lesbian, out for 10 years now, and very comfortable with my sexuality. My girlfriend, on the other hand, is out to only a few close friends, and is terrified that her family will disown her if they find out she’s gay. I’ve met most of her family (introduced to them as a “good friend”), and they don’t at all seem to be the disowning type. I want to respect my girlfriend’s right to come out to them on her own, but I know it’s tearing her up inside to have to hide from her own family, and it’s beginning to strain our relationship. How can I encourage her to come all the way out without driving her back into the closet?

If you don’t know for certain that her parents won’t flip out and disown your girlfriend, you should play it safe. Tell your girlfriend to disown her parents. Beat ‘em to the punch. If they aren’t down with same sex relationships then  they need some kind of wake up call. Maybe their daughter coming out and disowning them at the same time will help.


I work for a small company, where everyone is very close. Most of my coworkers are politically conservative and religious, and seem to talk of little else. I’m comfortable with my own views (unapologetically liberal) and usually stay out of their conversations, but recently a few of them have begun to confront me about my beliefs. It’s really getting uncomfortable, and I don’t know where to turn, because there is no formal HR department. I’m really trying to be diplomatic because I don’t want to alienate my coworkers and jeopardize my job, but I’m running out of polite ways to tell them to stay out of my business. Help!

Tell them your religion strictly forbids talking about the religion itself. It’s rule number one!


I’m of Puerto Rican and Dominican descent and my fiancee is white. His family has been nice to me for the most part, but they often joke about my ethnicity, and speak fake Spanish when I’m around (they love to “impersonate” Sofia Vergara around me, who’s Colombian by the way). I’ve told my fiancee how much it bothers me, and he empathizes, but he insists that’s “just the way they joke.” What can I do to make him (and them) chill out about that shit?

No se, chica. Sounds like you got the classic ham-and-cheese-white-bread-white-meat-no-crust-hold-the-sauce fam-fam. Start interrupting people when they’re talking nonsense.


My boss and I have a great working relationship, which often includes going to lunch together to chat and unwind. The problem is that she makes a lot more money than I do and the restaurants she chooses are often out of my budget. She is particular about food and ambience, so my less pricey suggestions are usually dismissed out of hand, leaving me to either ante up (it’s always Dutch) or rob her of a lunch buddy. My career is important to me, and the rapport I have with my boss is a big part of that; how can I get her to compromise on this?

If you aren’t living in an episode of Friends, wake up early and make a sandwich for you and your boss. Eat outside. The ambiance is fine.


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