Guidance Counseling: Big Freedia

Published  March 2015

antigravity_vol12_issue5_Page_11_Image_0003A household name here at home for years, Queen Diva Big Freedia has been taking audiences around the country by storm, grabbing their slightly-stunned hands and dragging them onto the dance floor for a crash course in New Orleans bounce  culture. She has toured with popular indie outfits like Matt & Kim and The Postal Service, as well as performed at festivals worldwide. She is the star of her own reality show, Big Freedia: Queen of Bounce, which kicked off its third season on Fuse this past February, and she’s set to release a memoir in 2016. Big Freedia will be performing as part of the BUKU Music + Art Project lineup this month. Take it away, Queen Diva!

I just moved to a new city, and at age 25, I’m having to get a driver’s license and car for the first time. I know I should have gone through this as a teen, but I grew up with subways and cabs and never thought I’d need to worry about a car. My girlfriend has been very helpful, letting me practice driving her car around parking lots and backstreets, but I’m a nervous wreck, and I’m beginning to notice her patience wearing thin. I don’t have the money or time for driving school, but I really need to pass the driving test ASAP. What’s the best way to get over my street fright?

Put some Big Freedia music in the car, turn the volume up, and roll all the windows down. Trust me, your fear will be gone.


My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly six months. He is sweet and sometimes overly romantic (which I find charming), but I’ve recently found out that his nickname for me is also what he used to call his ex (it’s too specific to say what, sorry!). I know he loves me and that he has no interest in rekindling  things with her, but it really irks me that I got a recycled term of endearment. I honestly wouldn’t be so bothered if it were a more generic “baby” or “sweetie” or something. I haven’t brought this up to my boyfriend yet because I’m worried that I will seem petty and jealous, but I’m really getting sick of hearing his ex’s pet name. Am I being crazy, or do I have the right to my own moniker?

Oh girl, everyone needs a nickname and an original one. Find one you like and tell him to use it from now on.


My son is a junior in high school, a great student and all around good kid. He’s also 16, which means I’ve learned never to open his door without giving him about 5 minutes’ notice. My wife and I had “the talk” with him years ago, and we like to think we’re sexually progressive/enlightened. Last week,my visiting father, a devout Catholic, forgot to knock before entering the guest bathroom, and walked in on my son mid-sesh. This happened while I was out, so my father lectured his mortified grandson on sins of the flesh for over an hour before I got home. I know his belief system requires him to “save” my son from his “sin,” and so he thinks he’s doin the right thing, but this is taking a toll on my son. Short of cutting my father’s visit short, how can I get through to him that won’t tolerate what he’s doing to my son?

Oh that’s terrible to hear. Your father needs a Twerk lesson from me. Release your ass and your mind will follow. But really, I think it’s OK for your father to share his beliefs with his grandson, whether you believe them or not. As a parent, you can guide your child and let him know a better way. It’s not gonna do irreparable damage.


I was recently promoted to a management position in my office, a role which frequently requires speaking in front of large groups. I’ve always been very comfortable speaking in front of small groups, so I assumed it would be no big deal, but with the stress of a new position and the pressure from upper management to perform well, I’m having a lot of trouble keeping my composure when presenting at these large events. Dry mouth, shaky voice, losing my place, the whole nine yards. I’m worried that my job will be in jeopardy if this keeps up. What can I do to regain the comfort I had before?

Oh I used to have terrible stage fright so I feel for you. Slip on some Bounce and get in front of the mirror and practice.


Is it a bad idea to be in a band with your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner?

Yes very bad idea. When you have issues it’ll mess with your creativity. I used to bring my boyfriend on tour with me as a dancer, but I don’t anymore.


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